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Mother left the room for a few minutes and came back with the somepictures and nail polish. I'd taken a moment to breathe a little whilethey sat on the sofa. Mother showed Michelle how my hair was going tolook and how I looked in makeup. They decided on the colors of the eyeshadow and lipstick. It just had to match with the dress, they told me.Mother showed her the nail polish and they both agreed it would be justperfect. Michelle gave Mother some money and told her that Mother wouldjust have to purchase the nail polish for the girls in the wedding party,and the flower girl. Mother told Michelle that I'd take on thatresponsibility. They continued to help me dress, and now I felt like thebride. Michelle informed me that I had to be ready to help her so Ineeded to be ready on time on Saturday. I asked her about the otherbridesmaids and she told me about her friends. I'd be meeting them all onFriday at the rehearsal dinner. What rehearsal dinner? I asked. Motherput her hand over her. He knows the truth just like I do. He knows that, together, we are transient. These woods are his form of meditation, of prayer. Maybe, in introducing me to them, he is trying to fix me because he knows his human hands cannot. He knows, right now, his human hands are not fit to hold me, but moreover, he knows that neither of us is willing to admit that. He knows that nobody wants to look that deep because, on the surface, we have found momentary rest. That evening, we go home together and start a fire in the small woodstove. I make a simple dinner and by the time it is ready, he is asleep on the couch, snoring gently. I look down at him and feel in my bones how weary he is. I want to cry, but somehow I blink it back. I do not like for him to see any tears. I know he does not need that. I lay my hand on his shoulder and he wakes with a start. Later, in bed, after he falls asleep, I lay quietly and take in his face. I memorize him, the way he moves, the pained way he breathes at.
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